Kristine Atterbury, Contributor

The auditorium was silent as I stepped before the mic and scanned the crowd. The sea of expectant faces no longer made me nervous. I had performed the pre-game national anthem several times since entering UWI and tonight the only thing on my mind as I surveyed the audience was seeing Lucas, my best friend for the last 10 years.

His usual spot at the back was empty. Swallowing my disappointment, I began to sing. Relaxing my shoulders, I let my voice begin its slow build to the crescendo I knew would come. There was a slight shuffle in the crowd towards the back and, finally, I saw him. My heart gave a little skip and my voice rang out clear and loud as the song came to an end.

As the game began, I made my way off the stage.

Lucas

"Eva," Lucas called, waving at me. I grinned back, shuffling quickly through the crowd. My smile faded as he shifted and the unsmiling face of Carolyn, his girlfriend, came into view. When I finally got to where he was standing, he pulled me in for a warm hug, the scent of bath soap and Armani filling my senses.

"You sounded good," he said. I feebly squeezed back, aware of Carolyn's eyes on us. I didn't bother saying hello to her, knowing I would receive little more than a frosty smile in return.

He leaned back and grinned again, his dimples and twinkling eyes a perfect complement to the rugged stubble he was sporting lately. Honestly, I couldn't blame Carolyn for her around-the-clock nastiness.

An irresistible package

Over the last 10 years, I had watched several girls and not a few grown women throw themselves at Lucas - his good looks, natural charm and generous personality made for an irresistible package. He often joked that I was the only girl who seemed completely immune to him, but this was obviously of no comfort to Carolyn. Her job was to look pretty and unattainable and to guard her man with the viciousness of a pit-bull.

He chucked me under the chin playfully and Carolyn's eyes narrowed. "What you doing after the game finish?" he asked. "You going to the block party?"

I shrugged. "I'm kinda tired, I might just go to bed." He nodded and smiled agreeably but there was a strange glint in his eyes. "Why, what happen?" I asked.

"Wait up for me," he said quietly.

I rolled my eyes. "No, it going be too late. Call me tomorrow."

His hand reached for mine and he tugged at my fingers gently. His face was serious. "For real, wait for me?"

I sighed. "Fine. See you later."

A few hours later, I was tidying up my room while Anika, my room-mate, watched me. After enduring a few long-suffering sighs and a couple of "ah bwoys", I finally stopped what I was doing and faced her. "What?"

She stared at me for a moment. "You have to ask? You don't see anything wrong with a committed guy going to visit some other girl's room in the middle of the night?"

I shot her an annoyed look and straightened my pillows. "Like I told you before, there is nutten going on between me and Lucas. We're just platonic friends."

"Really?" she replied. "Didn't you tell me he kissed you?"

"We were drunk," I said shortly.

"What about how you went on when he got back together with Carolyn last year?"

"That was just hormones," I retorted.

"Arite, my girl." She crossed quickly to the door. "I have a party to go to. But platonic friends do not exist!" With that, she flounced down the hall.

Prettying up

I was in the middle of applying lip gloss when there was a soft knock at my door. I pulled it open and Lucas stepped in quietly. He had changed his clothes and was now wearing a bright yellow graphic-t, dark blue jeans, and sneakers that were perfectly white. He nodded to my lip-gloss with a quick grin. "Whaa! Who you prettying up for?"

"Nobody," I said defensively. He sat on the edge of my bed and I waited by the door, feeling awkward for some reason.

"Anika thinks you shouldn't be up here with me," I said. He raised his eyebrows. "She thinks platonic friendships don't exist."

He looked at me, his brown eyes heavy on mine. "Do you think our relationship is platonic?" he asked.

"What?" I laughed nervously.

"I just want to know. Do you see me as just a friend?"

My throat felt a little dry. "Is this what you wanted to talk about?" I asked, feeling disconcerted.

He looked at the ground for a moment and then stood up, coming closer. I took a step backwards.

"Just be honest, Eva," he said, his voice low.

I moved to the other side of the room, crossing my arms. "Why you asking me these things?"

He put his hands in his pockets and leaned against the wall. "Because I love you," he said simply. My stomach dropped as feelings long ago buried began to spin dangerously close to the surface.

I struggled to compose myself. "Why you telling me this?" I asked again. "What about Carolyn?"

He gave a short laugh and ran his hands over his face. "Carolyn is pregnant," he said, a catch in his voice.

I gasped. "How? What does that mean?"

"Well," he replied, a trace of bitterness in his tone. "The son of a famous pastor gets the assistant commissioner's daughter pregnant. What you think it means?"

I leaned against my desk, feeling sick. "You going marry her."

He stared at the floor. Neither of us said anything for a long moment. I stared out my window, listening to the bass of the block party speakers vibrate through the walls.

'You going marry her'

Suddenly, I stood up straight. "You going marry her," I repeated. "And you come up here to tell me you love me? Why?"

He looked at me then. "I just feel like I wasted all this time pretending. Is you I wanted all along, Eva."

I bit my lip and went back to staring through the window. A treacherous tear began its way down my cheek and I brushed it away angrily. I closed my eyes and wondered how I had gained something so important and lost it, in one night.

When I opened my eyes, Lucas was standing before me, his eyes full of emotion, his arms pulling me tightly against him, as if I might vanish.

I felt I should pull away but instead I found myself tilting my head back. As his lips brushed mine, I shuddered, his wonderful soap-scented smell filling my nostrils. Rapture warred with guilt as I pulled him even closer. His mouth was warm and gentle on mine as his tongue parted my lips and a tidal wave of passion had overcome me, one that I knew had begun gathering long ago.

Our hearts thudded together as his lips caressed my neck and my shoulders, before meeting mine in a blaze of longing.

I felt his fingers against the snap of my jeans and tried in vain to pull away, grasping for control but he ignored my weak protests, his mouth still devouring mine.

After that I didn't think anymore.

"Eva Williams, performing our national anthem." At the announcer's cue, I walked to the middle of the stage. As I began my song, my eyes lit upon a wonderfully familiar figure at the back of the room. Lucas. Our eyes met and held for a moment, before I shut mine, trying to maintain control of my voice.

By the time the song was over, he was gone.