Jamaica Gleaner
Published: Monday | September 28, 2009
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Singular Subjects - Mothers' dilemma
The Soloist, Contributor

File photo shows a mother twisted in grief after the murder of her loved one. - file

It is not a good time for some of our nation's mothers; they have to cry too often for children both alive and dead. I have said it before in this column that I realised from very early in my life that I was not up to the task of being a mother. My reasons are many. First of all, I am selfish. I do not have enough time, energy, patience and financial resources for myself, let alone to share with a child.

Second, I do not believe in sacrificing anything for anyone nor do I want to be responsible for another human being. Then, I am a free spirit, I want to get up and go without having to think about someone else's well-being. And not being married, I have no desire to be a babymother or be forced to fuss with a man over his seed that he deposited with me. Not that married men don't abandon their children, but I am not taking the chance. So, I salute all mothers, single and married. You are heroes.

For these reasons, my heart goes out to the mother of the little boy hit down by the minibus driver who waited so long to give himself up. I cannot imagine her pain. Whatever the reason, the woman is left to grieve.

I feel the pain of the two mothers who saw their sons on prime-time television last week. One being violently chopped and the other, the brutal attacker. Yes, mothers give birth to good children who grow up to be bad people too, so I hope this bad person is caught.

I cannot begin to understand the anguish of the mother of the young Stephen Fray who has been convicted for attempted hijacking. Sick or not, this grieving mother missed the warning signs and now she has to bear the pain. The victims have mothers too; they will never forget the ordeal.

And how about the mother of that 14-year-old girl who said it was the first time she was allowing her daughter to go home alone. Will she be able to forgive herself?

And how about the mothers accused by the Cornwall College old boy of overprotecting their boys and making them grow up too soft? Where do mothers draw the lines?

In our country today, mothers have a heavy burden but it can be lightened if you are more vigilant. Like my friend with a 16-year-old daughter who told her an older boy liked her and wanted to meet her mom. Well mommy sent him the following message. "Her father is a cop and we would both like to meet you, so why not meet us at the Area Four police station in Montego Bay on Monday afternoon at X time? Her daughter has not heard from him since. Yes, moms, it's time to get real!

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