Q: My five-year-old son cries when he does not get his way. When watching TV he sometimes makes loud outbursts; he is often defensive, and will argue with me or his father when told to do or not to do something, (although he is not disrespectful). If he is playing a game and he is losing, he does not want to play anymore. He has a bad temper at times.

I seek your professional advice on his behaviour. I am a bit worried he may lose control.

A. Ask your child to tell you why he is behaving as he is, when he is misbehaving. After he responds, then you should calmly tell him why he is not going to get the toy or his way. Another thing to be aware of is his sugar intake. If he is eating too much or too little sugar this may explain the times when he is easily upset. Please watch his diet. Ensure that you and your husband take time to respond to him and that you are CONSISTENT when punishing him. Remember to reward him when he has been good. Give hugs and say positive words for rewards. Only give gifts on very special occasions.

Q: My son is four years old. He is very moody and sometimes physically abusive to his peers. I need help on ways to curve his behaviour. I have tried talking to him as much as possible as his school teacher advised, he is already getting punishment at school.

What other positive parenting skills can I use?

A. First, ensure that you work with the school so that home and school provide the same level of punishment. So, for example, if he is rude at school and punishment is that he stays inside and eats his snacks alone, the same should happen at home. Have you asked him why he hits his peers? A response from him may make you aware of the reason for his behaviour.

If he does anything well, such as putting his cup in the sink or putting on his T-shirt, praise him. He will be happy that you did. When he does something well, if others are at home, ask them to be a part of the team that praises and encourages him. Remember to place his activities from school on display on the fridge door and/or on a board or a wall in your home.

Remember, this will work if you are not too busy and if you are consistent.

Q My 12-year-old will have to move to another parish because I lost my job and will start a new one next week. We will be one hour away from her school. She will be taking GSAT very soon. What do I do? Do I let her stay at the school and travel or homeschool her and take her for the exam?

A. I am happy to know that you have found a new job. Is it possible for you to travel until after the exams? If not, once there is organised transportation your 12-year-old may be able to manage the long ride and her schoolwork. Please sit with her and explain the options and as a family, make a decision. Twelve-year-old children can be very smart and she may be able to share an idea that you have not thought of.

Orlean Brown-Earle, PhD, is a child psychologist and family therapist. Dr Brown-Earle works with children with learning and behaviour problems throughout the island and in the Caribbean. Email questions to helpline@gleanerjm.com or send to Ask the Doc, c/o The Gleaner Company, 7 North Street, Kingston.