Jamaica Gleaner
Published: Sunday | June 23, 2013
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Dear doc
Doctor, I need your advice. I recently came home and caught my husband cheating on me, with my best friend. They both apologised and my friend was crying and saying that she could not understand why she had done such a wicked thing. But my husband was a little arrogant. A few days later, my husband said we needed to talk, then he told me that he loves both of us. So his idea is that, from now on, we should have a three-way relationship. The plan is that some nights he would sleep with me, and other nights he would spend with her. My friend is divorced and neither of us have any children at home. While he was telling me this, he got very excited. I could see that he was turned on. At first, I wanted to have nothing to do with his proposal. But since then, I have being wondering if this could work. I have spoken to my friend about it, and to my surprise, she thought that it might just work out. She pointed out that there would be some financial advantages. We would avoid the expense of a divorce, and no one would have to leave their homes. So I went home and told my husband what she had said. He was delighted. He started saying that maybe some nights we could have threesomes, with him and both of us. To begin with, I was disgusted by this idea. But then I talked with another friend, and to my astonishment, she said that it 'could be quite pleasant'. Now, I am totally bewildered. I do not know what to do. What do you think?

I think this is one of those crazy ideas by selfish, self-centred men who want to have sex with two women.

Your husband is obviously a very manipulative man, and I suspect may have been planning something like this for quite a while. At the start of it all, he took very little care to prevent you from finding him in bed with his mistress. I wonder if he wanted you to find out?

Shortly after, he is trying to convince you both that, from now on, he should have two wives. And almost immediately, he started pressing you into accepting the idea of threesome.

It has also occurred to me that your friend may have been doing some conspiring with him. But that may not be the case.

What should you do now? Well, I would ask you to bear in mind that these threesomes often lead to all sorts of psychological disorders. I have scarcely ever seen one of those set-ups end happily.

Frankly, I think your best move now would be to tell your husband 'no way'. Suggest that he stops seeing his girlfriend and instead goes with you to consult a good marriage counsellor.

If he does not agree, then it is my view that you should find yourself a divorce lawyer.

My doctor wants to prescribe me some Cialis tablets, to help with my erections. But do they have any side effects, Doc?

Cialis, also known as tadalafil, is a drug which is closely related to Viagra. Like Viagra, it is pretty effective in assisting men who need help in this area.

Its one advantage over Viagra is that the effects lasts a lot longer. Sometimes it works for 24 hours or more.

Like all medications, it can have side effects. The most common are:


Gas and indigestion

Blocked nose


Palpitations (thumping in the chest)


Muscle pain.

There is also a very remote risk of damage to the eyes or ears. One important point is that it may not be suitable for persons with sickle cell anaemia.

However, most of the above side effects, such as indigestion and blocked nose, are pretty trivial. Most men ignore such side effects.

Can I insist on taking my daughter to a doctor to find out if she has been having sex? I imagine that a doc would know instantly. Am I right?

I do not think that is a good idea. You did not say how old your daughter is, but whatever her age, taking her to a doctor against her will will be very unpleasant.

Also, there is no way that any doctor would do an internal examination without her consent. This would be illegal.

Maybe your daughter would be willing to undergo such a 'virginity examination' voluntarily. But I must warn you that not all doctors have the skill to do this test.

Frankly, my experience has been that when mothers think that their daughters are having sex, they are very often right! But the important thing now is to speak frankly with your daughter and try to agree on a way forward. I wish you both well.

I have just had my third child and because of some complications, I'm not able to breastfeed her. Doc, after my last two pregnancies, my cycle took about a year to return. But on this occasion, it arrived when the baby was only seven weeks old. Is there something wrong with me?

No. What you have not realised is that breast-feeding usually delays the return of your period. So most women who breastfeed do not see their period for months.

But on this occasion, you have not been breastfeeding. So it was to be expected that your period would return quite quickly.

I am 50 years old and married. Lately, I have discovered that I have to get up at 4 a.m. to urinate. Is this OK, Doc? Or do I have prostate problems?

You are fine. Once for the night is ok.

But when a man starts getting up around five to six times for the night, that usually indicates a prostate problem.

My wife takes a long time to climax during intercourse. Recently, she got some advice from a nurse about this. As a result, I notice that just as I am about to climax, she has started stimulating herself. The effect of this is that we now orgasm at the same moment. But, is what she is doing ok?

It is perfectly OK. In many parts of the world, sexologists teach this technique in order to help couples achieve simultaneous climax.

Send questions to deardoc@gleanerjm.com

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