Jamaica Gleaner
Published: Monday | January 21, 2013
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Lesbian flings in the bedroom
Latoya Grindley, Staff Reporter

Homosexuality in the Jamaican culture, despite its growing prominence, is still considered taboo. However, there is a clear disparity in how same-sex relationships are viewed, as one seems more favourable than the other.

Same-sex relationships involving two women is considered more tolerable than same sex relationships involving two men. In fact, the act of lesbianism is sometimes brought into heterosexual bedrooms by men, in most cases, in an attempt to create a much more exciting and adventurous escapade.

An affinity for this kind of sexual act by men, according to clinical sexologist Sydney McGill is one linked with heightened sexual experience and pleasure.

"They see it as a double dose of something good to have two women in the bedroom. It is just like if you like ice cream, two scoops will be better than one," he said.

For those in committed relationships, however, the sex expert shared some words of caution. He noted that oftentimes the man's acceptance of lesbianism into his relationship can lead to a path of destruction if there is no stability.

"The spouses, before entering this kind of sexual act, should have a friendship first and foremost. They need a solid foundation so there might not be any problems down the road."

"(This is) not for everyone," McGill stressed. Both partners should be comfortable and open-minded enough to involve another woman in the picture.

"The issue can be widened when an individual has all sorts of personal problems, and insecurities can mushroom into unexpected difficulties in the relationship and can cause break-ups. You find that sometimes one of them starts to secretly have sex with the other woman."

While many may frown upon these more contemporary relationships and understandings, McGill said his profession has exposed him to a growing number of cases where lesbianism is embraced.

"Some men who are accustomed to having sexual relationships with more than one woman will find it difficult to adjust when committed to a relationship. They get easily bored and crave for variety, hence a third person would make it appear as if it is not cheating."

Past sexual experiences

In cases where a woman is accepting of another woman intimately, McGill noted that this at times has been linked to past sexual experiences and attraction towards their sex.

"Developmentally, it is natural for a young girl in puberty to be attracted to her female teachers. But in the majority of cases, they grow out of it."

But should a man worry about the longevity of his relationship if his partner has had lesbian flings or relationships in the past?

"It depends on how they got involved in homosexuality. Was it that her friends were involved in it and she joined in as part of a fad or is it that she has a genuine attraction to women? Everyone has a past and having lesbian affairs should not determine her future. Sexuality is really fluid and is not compartmentalised. It just depends on which one you feed," said McGill.

As it relates to the acceptance of lesbianism by men, McGill explained that the act, whether seen or imagined, is viewed as a lot less aggressive.

"Two women having sex is passive and does not have that strong look as if it is going to cause injury. The man is the penetrator and a woman the receptor and in cases where there are two receivers, it is a lot less passive than seeing two men ... ," the doctor said.

latoya.grindley@gleanerjm.com

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