Kelly

Tiger Woods, the world's most famous golfer, got into a fender bender the other day and hit a fire hydrant and tree.

That, in and of itself, was not the problem. After viewing the crash, investigators started thinking something wasn't quite right. Soon the tabloids started to make reports that Woods and his wife got into a fight (allegedly), because she found out he had been unfaithful to her. So, she, allegedly, made like a tiger on the driving range and took a golf club to whack him senseless. The theory was that he crashed while running like a fugitive from his club-wielding (and highly upset) wife.

Since those rumours started swirling, the golfer has, apparently, been able to squash them to the point where people truly believe he just crashed. However, he has also come forward and admitted to "transgressions". While I still think wifey turned into a reincarnation of Annie Palmer for a few minutes, I'm more disturbed about the adultery.

'The others'

The racists and bigots will tell you that this is typical African-American sportsman behaviour. They'll point to the Cadillac Escalade with the rims, then they'll talk about the cheating on the wife. "See, he's just like all the rest," they'll probably say. Well, the thing is, in one way, Tiger is like all the rest and in another, he's different. Tiger is like 'the others' because he's human and humans make mistakes. Big ones at times. I'm not trivialising infidelity; far from it. Quite frankly, his wife should have used his head as a golf ball (if that did in fact take place).

But Tiger is still different because, unlike the others, he didn't smack his wife around. And trust me, if he had, we would have heard by now! That he chose to walk/run away shows he's got a different temperament. Him still have 'sump'm 'bout him'! Then again, Tiger is a lightweight and his wife seems quite athletic herself. He probably would have lost the fight anyway and so decided discretion was the better part of valour. At day's end, this will all blow over, especially if Tiger plays it cool (like when he's leading in the final round of a major tournament).

Mourning the rum

By the way, I wonder if the island's rum lovers have risen from their knees after praying for the safety of J. Wray and Nephew's rum? The Almighty may not have heard this many prayers from Jamaicans since the Reggae Boyz were trying to qualify for the World Cup. Some people were even planning to wear black to mourn the rum's demise.

For me, it's just great nobody died and no homes were destroyed. I'll drink to that!

Shout to me at daviot.kelly@gleanerjm.com

Tiger Woods