I have been away from the island for a few weeks, but I kept up with the Flair on this newspaper's website, so I laughed till I cried when I read about middle-aged men dyeing their hair for various reasons. It was laughable because as a child, I distinctly remember a few older men in our district, using Nugget shoe polish to darken their greying hair.

They had to cover their shirt collars when the heat of the sun made the polish run to unwanted places. It was even funnier that very often, the polish stuck to their scalp, making the process very obvious.

Can't hide it, guys

What most of these men still don't know today, is that even with modern advances in the manufacturing of dyes, people can tell when they have colour in their hair. So it makes no sense being so secretive. Yes, that applies to at least three popular men in the Jamaican music industry, a few politicians and some corporate movers who I run into fairly often. We know you; we know your age and when we are close to you, we see the strands that escaped.

And, by the way, you tired old fools, your scalp retains the dark tinge for a few days after the process. So, for you men who are trying to hide your age behind hair colour, take a leaf from your women's books. They don't care if people know they colour their hair. In fact, many women start the experiment with colours very soon after their association with chemical treatments like perms and relaxers begin.

Those among us who are really with it, even colour our eyebrows, eyelashes and pubic hair to match! Yes, we can't have you wondering whether age overtook the pleasure dome faster than anywhere else.

My gal pals and I are very sorry for men who have to wear a dyed mask to attract younger women. We think, some of you need professional help to sort through those self-esteem issues that make you so unhappy with ageing gracefully. You have a lot in common with those who go under the knife to look slimmer, or take botox shots to refill those sagging areas.

Finally, I say to the men of the 'colour guard', if you are man enough to chase a young nubile babe, why not be man enough to admit your weakness for the bottle (of dye?).

Metrosexual men

Men have been dyeing their hair for ages. But now they are taking better care of themselves by getting regular facials, pedicures and manicures.

Recently, I was at a party hosted by a fantastic looking Iranian with flecks of grey hair. There was a mixture of races. An Englishwoman said he looked very distinguished and complimented him on his skin tone. A Malaysian man told him to dye his hair as he would look much younger. The Malaysian said he dyes his hair, at least his wife does it for him. She seemed a bit embarrassed as she had said earlier that her husband doesn't dye his hair.

I told him that he was a metrosexual man and you find that men are going these routes - taking care of their other side. In the past, we would turn up our noses at men who would buff their nails and do facials. They are now taking their places beside us in the salons. Besides, women are moving away from taking roughened callous hands to dinner, even though those hands may provide a good massage later.

I find that females are openly admiring these men and more men partially practise metrosexuality. That is, wanting to be seen as the modern man but still holding on to the old man.

I think men are at an emergent stage as it regards lifestyle and modernity!

- VM