Q Dear Doc, are there any pills that can cure premature ejaculation? Help, please!
A Well, there are some pills that can alleviate the condition, which is quite common. However, curing it is another matter.
The only methods of actually curing it, so it never troubles you again, are psychological ones. I will return to those in a moment.
As far as pills are concerned, there are two major possibilities.
First, antidepressants. It has been known for some years that certain pills which are intended to treat depression have the side-effect of delaying orgasm.
For most people, that is not a good effect. However, for a guy who has PE, it can be quite helpful because it can help him extend the duration of intercourse by five, 10, 15 or even 20 minutes.
Please note that these pills do not cure premature ejaculation. All they do is delay orgasm on a specific occasion. So you would have to take one each time you have sex, or (to be more precise) a couple of hours before hand.
You should also note that antidepressants are powerful drugs, and they might be accompanied by unwanted effects.
For that reason, I would warn you against the widespread practice of buying them from unauthorised persons who offer them in bars as 'last-longer' pills.
Second, there is a drug called dapoxetine. This was developed in the United States a few years ago.
It works like antidepressants, so it is not a cure. All it can do is delay climax. And it does not work every time. Unfortunately, in a lot of guys it seems not to have much effect.
So what are the psychological methods that can offer a cure?
Therapists and psychologists offer various techniques. However the one I would strongly recommend is the Masters-Johnson method, which I have mentioned before in this column.
Basically, the therapist sees the couple and makes sure that the woman is willing to try and help her lover.
Then he outlines a scheme in which the couple must agree not to try to have intercourse for a while.
Instead, they have regular 'training sessions' in which the man lies flat on his back, while his partner stimulates him manually.
Whenever, he tells her that he is nearing orgasm, she stops, and immediately applies a specially designed grip.
This is known as 'the squeeze grip', and it is widely described on the Internet and in books. It does not hurt, as many men imagine! But what it does do is to take away the desire to climax.
So, when the guy feels totally in command of himself again, the couple resumes the exercise. In this way, over a period of several months, the man gradually gains confidence and learns that his mind can control his body, and that by mental effort he can delay orgasm for as long as he likes.
Strange as it may seem, I have encountered patients who were able to 'last' half an hour, thanks to the Masters-Johnson method, though previously they had only been able to hold back for five seconds.
Clearly, if you can find a therapist or counsellor who will teach you and your partner this method, the results will be fruitful.
Q I am a 34-year-old woman, and each month I feel slight pain in my breasts. Could this be cancer, Doctor?
A I do not think so. Generally, pain is not the first symptom of breast cancer. What women should be looking out for is a lump in the breast.
Nevertheless, because cancer of the breast is so common, I would like you to undergo a medical check-up. The doc will probably diagnose that the pain is a cyclical one, occurring because of the ebb and flow of female hormones. Anyway, please take her advice.
Q I love my wife dearly and we have a great sex life. However, she likes to try out new things. Now she has asked me to penetrate her anally sometime soon.
Really, Doc, this does not interest me much. Should I give it a try, just to please her?
A I generally advise couples not to go in for anal (rectal) sex. This is because long clinical experience has taught me that most women find it extremely painful.
The pain occurs because the male organ usually has a much greater diameter than that of the female anus.
The resultant strain and pressure not only cause pain, but often bleeding and bruising. There is also a small chance of infection.
I am not saying this is the most dangerous practice in the world. A lot of couples, particularly those who have been married for a long time, do manage it, especially if they use lots of lubricant.
My advice to you is that unless your wife is extremely keen on trying anal sex, it would be a good idea to forget about it. There are other less painful but very fulfilling sexual positions you may pursue in the bedroom.
Q This month I have had my menses three different times, with only about a week between each. Is this OK?
A Definitely not. You must see a doc, who will try to work out why this has been happening.
As I have not examined you, or done any tests, I cannot make a diagnosis. However I am sure she will be able to get you on to treatment which will give you regular, manageable periods.
Q Doc, I seem to have no energy for sex at the moment because I am always tired! Also, I have been losing weight and am very thirsty all the time.
Any ideas?
A Sounds to me you might have diabetes, commonly called 'sugar'. Please, see a doc. He or she will take a specimen of urine from you. The doc might also require you to undergo a blood test.
If you do have diabetes, treatment will probably get you feeling fit and well again soon.
Q Doc, I am a 23-year-old man. Recently, a friend of mine and I 'shared' a well-off woman who paid us for sexual favours, a fact of which I'm not particularly proud.
The other fellow has phoned me to say he thinks he has gonorrhoea. Could I have got it as well?
A Of course. There are two main possibilities here.
First, the rich woman may have had gonorrhoea and given it to your friend. If that's the case, she probably has transmitted it to you too.
The other main possibility is that you friend already had gonorrhoea that night.
What is clear is that all three of you must have urgent tests. Do not delay.
Email questions to saturdaylife@gleanerjm.com or write to Doctor's Advice, 7 North Street, Kingston.