Jamaica Gleaner
Published: Sunday | November 15, 2009
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Sensory banquets and sex
Heather Little-White, PhD Contributor

Do you feel stressed and hopeless about life? Are you overwhelmed with what you have to do to survive from day to day? Is your sexual life at an all-time low? Does your spirit need a lift? Maybe you are in need of treating yourself to a sensual banquet. In the same way that you plan culinary banquets for special occasions, your life should also include sensory banquets for memorable love moments.

What exactly is a sensual banquet? It targets all of your senses which are exquisite connections to your partner. A sensual banquet, like a banquet of food, is designed to stimulate the senses and renew the intimate bond with your partner. During the process, you will also learn to stimulate your sensual selves.

Head start

Start with the head, shampooing each other's hair in a sensual way, enjoying the feel of the hair between the fingers, massaging the scalp and enjoying the freshness of the shampoo. Deliberately, take time so that both of you can enjoy the sensations of this activity.

Blindfold

Both partners should play with the senses by blindfolding each other to heighten the experience. The sense of taste can be stimulated with chocolates, berries, whipped cream or peppermint planted around the room or over the body. However, keep in mind that flavoured products may taste unappealing and may cause skin irritation, so be careful of the use of items so they do not spoil what ought to be a pleasant session. Using heat and cold adds variety. Ice cubes or warmed massage oil are items to use. You can also experiment with feathers, waxes and/or or other sensory options.

Searching the senses

Louden, writing in the Couples Comfort Book, recommends giving each other a massage while lying side by side. Massages are excellent in creating sensual feelings and creating relaxation. The use of massage oils is recommended and the best way is to experiment with what feels and smells best to you. You can be guided in your purchase of essential oils by a representative in a health food store. There are base oils which act as a carrier for the essential oils and they should combine well for the right results.

Joan Bogle, a Kingston-based reflexologist suggests that essential oils have a distinct role in therapeutic treatments for ailments such as diabetes, hypertension and, arthritis for example.

But according to Louden, you can create your own blends for special occasions once you understand the science of essential oils and how it relates to massages. Besides oils, you can use dried herbs, fragrant flowers and perfumes. She recommends nine drops of bergamont, 11 drops of geranium and 10 drops of ginger on six ounces of vegetable oil for relieving general stress.

Jungle journey

To capture the sense of the tropics, it's best to take a long bath together. In warm bath water, add a can of unsweetened coconut milk, 10 drops gardenia oil and 10 drops of amber. Slice tropical fruits like melon, mangoes and pineapples and slowly enjoy as you listen to soft, soothing music. You can make tropical refreshers with local fruit, a hint of ginger with minted ice cubes placed in frosted glasses.

Sleepy time

Diffusing essential oils in a room can add spark to your life. Place essential oils in a potpourri burner or add oils to a few ounces of water in a spray bottle and shake well before spraying. You could also place boiling water in a bowl and add the essential oils. Diffusing a few drops of camomile or clary sage in the bedroom will help you sleep well.

Rest and relax

Simply lying down and relaxing, clearing the mind of all stressors and simply stretching out, eyes closed and having your partner at your side are sensual. You will not need music as this could disrupt the chemistry that flows to your partner.

Touching

Ask your partner to tell you 10 non-sexual ways you would like your partner to touch you. Try non-sexual touching using new ways to touch allotting equal time for each person. Try touching without conversation and speak through the body.

The skin is the largest sense organ for transmitting pleasure before, during and after sex. The skin comprises 15 per cent of body weight. According to Pam Rabbitt, sex coach, (SexCoaching.com), the body begs to be touched as the primal circuits of the brain are activated to receive touch. Stroking techniques include light caress rather than a heavy rub. Light caresses activate nerve tissue and create pleasing sensations. Gentle touch transmits positive messages to the emotional part of the brain, releasing endorphins to induce relaxation and create a feeling of well-being.

Read about it!

If you are unsure what to do for sensual pleasure visit a bookstore or use the Internet to browse through topics which may be of interest to both of you.

Sex lessons

If you want to learn more about sex, you may take sex lessons. Keep an open mind and consider trying something new. Your sex life might just be better for it.

Safe sex

Bear in mind that all sexual activity should the safe to prevent the spread of sexually transmitted infections including HIV.

Sensual banquets should be planned periodically to bring couples closer and improve the intimate bond among couples.

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