Jamaica Gleaner
Published: Monday | October 19, 2009
Home : Flair
Sex and Relationship - The crossroads
Latoya Grindley, Gleaner Writer

Turning 25 is of course an important milestone in a person's life. And while there might be celebrations to acknowledge about this important quarter century, it is also the time at which many start to do some critical self evaluation and analysis. Oftentimes it is about relationships, marriage and career choices.

Decades ago at the age of 25, our parents, grand and great-grand parents would have been married and would have already started a family. For them and for some today, marriage and family are indicative of starting life and building on it.

While this may not be the case for the younger generation, there is still some level of societal 'pressure' for women to be settled in marriage and happily reproducing. Many women though, are deciding otherwise, and are opting to choose a career instead of marriage. To them, it is career first and then marriage and maybe children - whichever happens first.

As Flair also celebrates a milestone, we sought to find out from a few women, their thoughts on societal expectations for women at that age as it relates to relationships and career stability.

Do you or did you feel any pressure to choose between a career and marriage and subsequently have children by age 25?

Jodiann Darby - 24

I feel pressured in exploring my career. I feel time is catching up on me and I haven't even started on my career path. As for children and marriage, I'm not too anxious for that and I wouldn't mind putting that off for a few more years. I am thinking about 35 or so. By then I will be grounded. Right now I am not too sure that I want children but if I do have them, it must be planned. And if it happens, it will be after school and as for marriage, it will just be a little commitment ceremony.

Shauna Cushnie - 24

I must say that I've never viewed my personal and professional deve-lopment as having to choose between one or the other. I've always envisioned myself accomplishing both efficiently in due time. That said, at this time I am concentrating on pursuing my career. I believe that marriage and children are a little harder to plan for as that decision is not only mine. I also think I understand that age does not necessarily determine a woman's ability to handle the responsibility of children and a husband. Therefore, I am not intimidated by my age, at this time I am just preparing myself mentally and financially for when that happens.

Moiya Chin-Lyn - 25

It was always career first for me. Marriage would be OK at 26 or 27 but still no children until about 30. I think I need to be settled and ready for that big job - children. The career first is to secure one of the most important aspects of life - financial stability.

I also think that after facing some amount of life's obstacles, I would be in a better position to deal with some of what family life has to offer later on. But as we get older, our needs and wants change. So while I may be waiting on that career, I may also feel the need to find something more to live for, like a family.

Kamaikae Elliott - 28

No not at all, I never felt pressured to choose between career and starting a family or marriage by 25. I was always more focused on my career and I know that family will come in due time. Before starting a family, I will have to achieve certain things that a career can offer, for instance, some level of stability - financially speaking.

Do you feel pressured to get on with the more serious aspects of life at age 25? Tell us about it at: lifestyle@gleanerjm.com, latoya.grindley@gleanerjm.com

Home | Lead Stories | News | Business | Sport | Commentary | Letters | Entertainment | Flair |