These are excerpts from journal entries by Associated Pres photo-grapher Julie Jacobson while she was embedded with United States Marines in Afghanistan's Helmand province before and after the death of Lance Cpl Joshua Bernard on August 14, 2009. The date at each heading refers to when Jacobson wrote her entry, not necessarily to when the events took place

Julie Jacobson, Associated Press Writer

The operation started really early Wednesday morning on this town called Dahaneh. It's south of Now Zad a few miles. It is Taliban-controlled. Alfred (Associated Press writer Alfred de Montesquiou), and Ken (AP Television News Cameraman Ken Teh) were put on the assault helicopter which landed outside the compounds they intended to raid. I was stuck on a 7-ton truck with ANA (Afghan National Army) soldiers, an NPR reporter and another American guy, who is a civilian military adviser.

Initially, we, the women, (Jacobson and reporters for National Public Radio and Armed Forces Network) were going to be left at ANP hill with the backup troops. After I found that out, I (we) did some pushing and polite complaining and they finally got us on these trucks. ANP Hill is all the way back in Now Zad. I was NOT going to sit up there with all the stuff going on in Dahaneh hoping the troops at ANP got called on. It was clear it was a female thing and very frustrating. I never want to start claiming discrimination, but it was just so obvious. So, we ended up on the 7-ton, which at least got us to Dahaneh that morning.

Military convoy

We left at 2:30 a.m., a long, long convoy of military vehicles with a bulldozer on tank tracks leading the way and basically creating a new path for us to follow. His job was basically to clear our path of IEDs all the way to Dahaneh. It was a slow drive over maybe five miles, lasting four hours. Just inside the pass which marks the north end of town, gunfire started from all around. A few rounds passed above or near us, but most of it was from the village itself or behind us, from the hillsides down on other trucks and vehicles in the convoy. The little AK-47 pops were met with thundering beats from 50-calibre machine guns mounted on the MRAPs (mine-resistant armoured cars). A few mortar shells hit the ground less than 100 metres from us. At some point we pushed farther into town a little ways, and I could see Marines on a rooftop. I also noticed Ken and Alfred up there. I was just itching to get out of that truck. Eventually, by 9 a.m. we did. We entered the compound and I headed straight for that roof along with FOX News, who was also in a 7-ton. They weren't happy because they weren't in the main assault. I met up with Alfred and Ken.

Before I could get started and while we were lying behind a wall, Alfred told me about our colleague Emilio (AP photographer Emilio Morenatti) who was embedded with the Strykers in Kandahar and that he and the APTN guy with him had been hit by an IED. Emilio lost a foot, and Andi (AP videographer Andi Jatmiko) broke his legs and ribs. It was upsetting news to hear, and made it difficult to concentrate fully on what I was doing. However, I was clear of mind enough to keep my head down.

I spent about a half hour up on that roof and then went downstairs to file a few photos quickly. Some time around 10:30 as I was just finishing filing, an aircraft flew in and dropped a bomb on a house not far from us. The shooting ceased immediately. They later confirmed 10 dead Talibs (Taliban fighters). So all was calm and quiet through the late morning into the afternoon.

About 16:30, we were gathering to go on the first patrol through the village. Just as we were about to step through the door of the compound, gunfire erupted outside along with RPG (rocket-propelled grenade) fire.

When I say compound, it means a home basically. The homes here are made of two or more buildings surrounded by high brick and mud walls. The walls are at least a foot thick and usually more, and very strong.

I learned quickly the difference between a bullet passing overhead and one that has ricocheted off something. A passing bullet merely pops as it breaks the sound barrier. A ricochet has a strange whirring noise to it.

Needless to say, they dropped the patrol. Sniper fire also started coming in from the mountainside behind us. Marines on the roof suddenly had to switch sides of the roof and crouch behind a wall. I crawled up there for a bit trying to make a picture of something. Three of the Marines were tucked low trying to mark the sniper so they could call in an air strike. The others were just sitting up there smoking, looking bored. But occasional bursts of fire continued until dark, when the Taliban retreated. They know the Marines have the advantage in the dark with their night vision scopes. Only two more shots were fired in the night. After that, all was calm and we slept in the various rooms of the house, on the floor, some on carpets, some on padded mattresses.

Thursday, August 13

Today, we went out on clearance patrols with the ANA. Basically, we swept through town searching houses to clear the village of Taliban. The ANA did most of the searching with the Marines in support with security. This day is particularly important because it turned things around for me with the whole female thing.

It was freakin' hot. About 115 degrees. The patrol started at 11 a.m. I don't know whose bright idea it was to start it at that time. We started walking in two columns. Not five minutes out of the post gunfire erupted from the hillside to our right. We all just started running for cover behind walls. The ANA dropped into holes to provide cover but I don't think they ever fired a shot. They just kind of sat there staring. All the cover fire came from the Marine support vehicles.

So we sprinted about 70 yards to a corner compound and made the turn. We had about three more 100-yard sprints over open ground. I did them all and was sitting there after the last one wondering if I was going to make it through the day if we were going to have to run like that the whole day. My flak jacket weighs 23.5 pounds. My camera is about 5 with the lens on. I was carrying another 2-pound lens plus my Camelback with 3 litres of water, and some other miscellaneous stuff.

So there I was doing these 100-yard sprints with about 35 pounds on me in that heat. And as I sat there wondering if I'd keep up or tank and feeling like a wimp, the squad leader suddenly says, "OK, we gotta slow down or we're not going to make it. From now on we set up security as we go and take it slow. Don't forget to drink lots of water." I felt a lot better. It wasn't just me who was breathing heavily.

So we pushed on through town, searched a few houses. Heard some gunfire from other parts of town. It was a pretty uneventful search for our squad. But I kept up as they climbed over walls, on rooftops, etc. I never lagged behind. I stuck with them and didn't utter a word of complaint. I popped a Clif Blok in my mouth every so often. Earlier in the morning I drank 1.5 litres of water with Gatorade powder mixed in. I believe that's what kept me going.

Around 3 p.m. we reached the southern line of where we wanted to be. We stopped, rested in the shade and waited for other squads. At some point one of the Marines said, "FOX News dropped out. They couldn't hack it. Hey, look, Jacobson from AP is still here." They thought it was funny that the FOX guys tanked. Later back at the post, the squad leader said to me, "Jacobson, thanks for coming with us today. You were a good trooper." Now, I have to say that felt really good, considering the fact that when he first realised I was coming with his squad in the morning, he sighed, practically rolled his eyes. It was clear he did not want a woman on his patrol. After that day, I did not get any more such reactions from anyone. In fact, they would come seek me out and let me know when they were going to go do stuff.

Saturday, August 15

Yesterday, the day was all pretty calm. There had been no shots fired. Village leaders came to meet with the Marine commanding officer and the ANA commanding officer. One guy asked the Marine captain to give him back his 30 kilos of confiscated opium. The answer was no. We went out to the new outpost built on the edge of town for the ANA and raised the Afghan flag to the Afghan national anthem, with both US and Afghan troops present around mid-afternoon.

But then, just as everyone was believing that Dahaneh had been taken, we had attacks on the house the Marines and ANA were using as a command post. They started by somehow creeping up on the back wall of the house and shooting scattered AK-47 rounds into the yard. Everyone scrambled for cover. Then they started firing mortars and RPGs in addition to the AKs. The Marines on the rooftop responded with heavy fire. Alfred, Ken and I all climbed up on the roof to do our jobs up there.

As soon as we got up there, the shout of "INCOMING!!!" rang out. We all hit the deck. Luckily, the Taliban miss a lot. But there were three more incoming calls before I was able to get up and run over to the wall where all the Marines were positioned shooting. One of the shots was an RPG which hit the side of the house. One mortar shell hit the side of the house also. The other mortar shells landed just outside the walls.

It was late afternoon and a patrol was going out as soon as the shooting calmed down a little. Marine attack helicopters were now circling overhead and the Taliban usually stop shooting when they come around. So the patrol went out. Alfred and I accompanied them. We slowly made our way through the abandoned bazaar seeing scorch marks on the walls of the shops and rubble in the street. Notes posted on columns by the Taliban were read by the ANA soldiers who were with us. The notes urged villagers to fight the Marines.

It was sunset when we had left the compound. As we left the bazaar we walked along a narrow street lined by tall compound walls. At a break in one wall some men in a family were sitting outside watching us curiously, and I thought a little too nonchalantly. It was almost like people peering outside their homes during a Wild West showdown to see what might happen.

As the sun finally disappeared behind the mountains behind us we came upon an intersection with an open field bordered by a short mud brick wall. The squad leader, Cpl (Braxton) Russell, came over to the wall where I crouched next to a Marine who had his gun trained on a stand of pomegranate trees about 70 yards away. As it turned out, some of the locals we had passed, upon seeing ANA soldiers, came out and told them where the Taliban were lying in wait. The message was relayed by radio up to the front of the stack where I was, that basically the Taliban had eyes on us and would attack if we got any closer. It was dusk.

Cpl Russell said to the Marine, "If you see anything move from there, light it up," and then he went back to his position in the gun turret of the MRAP. The Marine looked at me as I stood there struggling to get my footing next to the ditch near the wall and keep my head below the top of the wall at the same time. He said, "If you see me drop to a knee, that's a clue that I'm going to start shooting."

Not 30 seconds after he said that, the Taliban attacked with an RPG and then with gunfire. The explosion which felt close by startled us both. He looked at me, I said I was OK, and then we noticed the grass to my right begin to catch fire from the sparks from the explosion. I bolted to his left and then all hell broke loose with M16, 50-Cal, AK-47 fire all over. The Marine next to me started to run back the direction the explosion was. I didn't want to stay in that spot because there were Afghan soldiers there and they aren't very good, so I followed the Marine.

That's when I realised there was a casualty and saw the injured Marine, about 10 yards from where I'd stood, with his legs just hanging on by skin. For the second time in my life I watched a Marine lose his. He was hit with the RPG, which blew off one of his legs and badly mangled the other. He lost consciousness a few minutes later just before they got him into the 'ambulance'. I hadn't seen it happen, just heard the explosion. I hit the ground and lay as flat as I could and shot what I could of the scene even though I didn't think I could use those casualty pics based on our media rules of engagement. It was also dusk at that point and very hard to shoot with such low shutter speeds. There was lots of yelling.