Angela Philipps, Gleaner Writer

I know, a bit of a bold title there. Perhaps too 'in your face', but the truth is that this is the reality for the majority of the women in the world. Provided they don't have fertility issues, married women don't exactly have a problem in finding a partner with whom to create a family.

So, what about the single ladies? Many of us would love to mother a son or daughter, but what if we don't find anyone with whom to bear them? Should we be left childless? Shouldn't we be allowed to explore other options? Another way that will facilitate us producing offspring?

I suppose one could simply sleep with anyone out there without contraception. However, this would both be stupid and selfish. Who knows what sexually transmitted diseases this 'man' might have, and even if he were 'clean', why would you want to trap a man into making a baby, unbeknown to him?

Ask a guy friend

Another option would be to ask a guy friend if he'd mind being the father of your children. Of course, conditions of the arrangement would have to be clarified in advance. How involved would he be in providing financial support, or taking part in the child's upbringing? Whose surname would be used on the birth certificate? Could both parties handle the other being in a serious relationship? Could present lovers accept the conception of this baby? Would the respective families honour the decision of the two people involved? Is it fair to bring a baby into the world, knowing that his or her parents were never, and will never be, together as couple?

One could adopt, but that's not as easy as you may think. Most of the babies living in children's homes in this country cannot be legally adopted as their parents have not signed contracts pertaining to this. Adopting from abroad is incredibly expensive and, again, extremely difficult. Seems silly, really, with so many homeless boys and girls out there, you'd think that officials would be doing all they could to find them loving families with whom to live. Truth is, one has to be extra careful when placing these children into the homes of strangers. With the number of perverts ever increasing, you have to be wary of who you can trust. There has to be the extensive investigations and intrusions into the lives of prospective parents who'd like to adopt. Mind you, no one does such checks on those who have babies naturally!

Visit a sperm bank

This leaves one other possibility that I can think of: visit a sperm bank. Do we even have one of those in Jamaica? A place where men can donate cupfuls of sperm, often getting paid for such provisions. These sperm are frozen and 'given' to women who want to have babies. Well, it's not as simple as that. There are a few ways in which artificial insemination can take place. However, the general idea is that the guy who donates will have no ties, legal or otherwise, to any babies produced from any of his sperm.

It is a little impersonal, but if the mother is loving and caring, does it really matter if 'dad' is not on the scene? For many of you lasses out there who started out with a fellow, you're now in that position anyway: bringing up baby alone. So why judge the woman who chooses to keep things sterile, so to speak, and simple from the beginning?

I know several people who have been through each of the scenarios above. Every one of these women were judged by the self-righteous around them, but after seeing the complete joy that came out of it all, moral exceptions were made. I'm not suggesting that one should be a sell-out when it comes to their ethics, just keep your opinions to yourself. If I want a baby, I'll have a baby.

Angelaphilippsja@hotmail.com.